I am a blogging failure. I love to write, I'm good at it, and yet I cannot seem to keep at it for more than a couple months at a time. I don't know why that should be, honestly. I think it must be something to do with the fact that I subconsciously demand perfection in my writing these days. Well, not perfection, exactly, but I just have a more heightened consciousness that writing is how I enter the world. Therefore, my brain shouts out that my writing should be a pure and true reflection of me, and it had better damn well be type-o free. Of course, no one is perfect, but my innate Virgo tendency toward perfection keeps me from just writing whatever comes out of my brain on a daily basis. I don't like being judged. And yet it's impossible to show one's writing to the world and not be judged. I manage the pain; I don't relish it as others do. I like to take my time, craft lovely turns of phrase, and proofread everything about a dozen times until I'm sure that my writing can be criticized as little as possible. Not exactly conducive to producing reams of material.
Still, I am always thinking about what I'd like to write. I experience a situation and immediately think of how I could describe it to my friends or family. I've had the enormous privilege of living and working in France for the past 8 months, and so many truly magical moments have passed by me, never captured in writing. Since I tend to have a memory like a sieve, I think it's best if I sucked up my embarrassment at not being able to hold down a steady blog, and just tried to keep writing for the sake of memorializing my own history.
No promises. No pressure. No perfection required.
In fact, as of right now, I've told no one about this blog. Not my best friend, not my mom. And I think I'll keep it that way for awhile. I'd like to get my blog legs under me before I let everyone in on the secret. If you've stumbled across this blog somehow...welcome. I don't regret your being here, not at all. You might even be witness to a miracle. The miracle of me writing here on a regular basis, and not quitting in two months' time. Feel free to send me comments if you like, but please be gentle!