Friday, August 19, 2005

Hello from Colorado!‏

Hello everyone!

Well, another couple weeks have passed up here on the mountain. I can hardly believe that we’re already getting to the end of August! I never thought that it would arrive. Of course, I came here thinking that I would be leaving in mid-September, so it’s a little sad to think I’ll have to stick around here up to a month longer than that. But, the core group of people who will be staying aren’t so bad. Plus, I found out that Evil Chef Scott will probably be leaving as soon as the guests peter out, leaving us all to cook for ourselves. Woo-hoo!!

Speaking of the kitchen help, we had another disappearance last week. Dick hired this Becky girl from Maine to come here as a dining room server. On her resume, she had a special section labeled “Personal”, under which she listed her vitals as: age 25, 5’3” 105 pounds, blond hair, blue eyes. So, needless to say, everyone was expecting this blonde bombshell to show up. I was the one sent to pick her up from town when the shuttle dropped her off and it was quite surprising when she stepped out of the van and revealed herself to be a 12 year old-looking ugly brunette. Bit of a letdown, what?

So, this chick shows up with nothing but a “back to school” backpack, and doesn’t even have toiletries with her! Well, no problem with that because Corky can get her stuff from housekeeping. No money to buy a shirt, so Tanja (Balbir’s assistant who’s from Germany) loaned her one of hers. But this girl just seemed fishy from the start. At first glance, we perceived her to be very simple-minded, like fresh from the farm if you know what I mean. But, she went to hang out at the barn on her second night and started telling everyone how she loves to have sex with black guys, etc… A bunch of other crazy stuff came out of her mouth, and eventually we all decided that she was a nut job. But, we needed a server, so whatever.

Well, until she starts telling us all that she’s going to leave! And that she’s planning on leaving before the 16th (which is the day that a huge corporate group comes and the ranch is entirely full). The weird thing is that she gave a different reason to every person she talked to. There were rumors of another job, going to Europe, eloping with her boyfriend, etc… Eventually, she left about 4 days after she got here. The following day, we got a phone call from her parents in Maine. Turns out that she’s a 16 year old runaway!! Man…the weirdos this place attracts...

On a positive note, we did get a new Sous Chef who is FANTASTIC! His name is Singyn (I think this is how it’s spelled—it’s British) and he cooks about 10 times better than Scott. Plus, he’s more vegetable friendly and easier to get along with, personality-wise. Everyone can tell when he’s cooking because A) the food is tasty and there are several dishes to choose from at one setting, B) we get dishes (such as eggrolls, vegetable quesadillas, etc…) that Scott would never dream of making, and C) he actually sets out accoutrements like sour cream, melted butter for corn on the cob, etc… that if we asked Scott for would get us nothing but a big Fuck You. So, everyone can tell when Singyn is cooking, and we compliment him all the time (the vegetarian girls give him hugs because they have full tummies for the first time in months). We’re terrified that he’s going to run away! But, so far he seems to get along with Scott, so it’s seemingly all good.

What isn’t all good is how many redneck racist bastards work here. It is amazing to me that so many of the staff (mostly the Texas wranglers, but also just random others) will casually use the words Sp*c or N*gger in conversation, like it’s totally appropriate. I’m sure that to them it is, back in the great state of Texas. Seriously, this has gotten worse and worse as the weeks have passed. One of the wranglers, Josh, was sitting down at Pioneer one night talking about how in Texas they believe that people should stick with their own race and shouldn’t mix. He also said that all w*ggers, n*ggers, and sp*cs should be taken into a field and shot along with all the f*ggots---if you can believe it!! And this just said totally casually, with not a shrug of embarrassment or anything. Needless to say, I told him where he could stick it and that he should keep that shit down in the barn, where it belongs. But other people tell racist jokes all the time, or just make little comments. My favorite was when one of the new girls, Kim, told a racist black joke, and as soon as she was done with it she said, “But I’m not racist.” So I immediately added, “I just tell racist jokes.” A few of the liberals in the room got a laugh out of that one.

Anyway, the only real highlights of the past couple weeks were when a coyote ran right in front of my on our road, and getting to see marmots every time I drive by our lake. Pathetic, yes? But still, it’s cool that I see this same marmot (I prefer to think it’s the same one) in the same exact spot every time I drive by. Actually, there were a few times I didn’t see him, and I was afraid one of the coyotes got him, but he reappeared, so that was nice. Other than that, I still haven’t seen any moose and it’s starting to make me mad! Everyone has seen one but me. However, I’m planning to go on a trip up to Rocky Mountain National Park before I come home, so I will hopefully see some great wildlife up there.

Well, this email has gotten as long as the Nile, so I should probably say my goodbyes. Tomorrow I’m off to the Peach Festival in Palisade, Colorado. My grandpa and I saw this festival on the Food Network last summer, so there’s no way that I could miss it being out here at the right time and all! So, wish me luck on my journey…supposedly I’ll be driving through some of the most beautiful scenery in this part of the state, so I’m very excited.

Talk to you all soon!

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