Thursday, July 14, 2005

Home on the range...

This is my first chance to write you in what feels like quite awhile, even though I know it’s only been one week since I’ve been here! Time slows down on the ranch and the days run together. If I wasn’t working in the office, I’m not sure that I would even know the day of the week! One of the maintenance guys, who was among three or four people who stayed here through all of last winter, said that there were times when they didn’t even know what month it was for sure. Now that is a little scary…

So far, I’m getting to know the “folks” here a little better, bit by bit. There are still some pretty clique-y groups, but all I really care about is getting through my work day and getting along with the people I have to live with. Beyond that, I spend a lot of time sitting out on our deck, reading and whatnot. The major get-togethers around here take place in “The Barn” (which is literally the horse barn, but it’s also the guys-only dorm on the second floor—air freshener anyone?) and they mostly consist of getting shit-faced and telling redneck jokes. Not exactly my cup of tea, but when in Rome… So far, I have avoided them, but now I’m getting asked why I don’t go, so perhaps I will start putting in appearances.

Being around people in their very early twenties makes me feel old, so perhaps that’s why I avoid them. Although, it must be said that even the older people here (in their 30s and 40s) hang out at The Barn because they just love to drink. Either I will give in and come home a drunkard, or I will leave here a social outcast. We’ll have to see…

I have a highly amusing story to relate involving the evil chef who works here. (For those of you who missed out on a telephone description of this bastard and what he said to me, here is the synopsis: I have been nothing but polite and respectful to him, but he has been very cold to me from day one. So, one morning he wasn’t around taking breakfast orders like usual, and I asked the guys where he was and what the procedure was [this being only like my 3rd day!!] and they said to go into the kitchen where he was making breakfast so that I could tell him what I wanted to eat. So, I go in there and say the following: “Scott, the guys told me to come in and let you know what I want for breakfast, so I just would like some hash browns and bacon and if you could make that really crispy I would appreciate it.” And he SHOUTS AT ME, “LISTEN, I don’t DO special orders! If you want a fresh-made breakfast every morning, then you can eat WHAT EVERYBODY ELSE EATS!!, which is hash browns, bacon, and scrambled eggs.” So, I politely said, “Thank you for telling me that; I didn’t know it before, but now I do. And no eggs for me-I don’t eat them.” JACKASS!! I just couldn’t believe how crazy rude he was after I had been nothing but nice to him. I can think of about a dozen different ways he could have chosen to relay the same information to me in a polite manner, but he obviously doesn’t care to be polite to me. So, basically, from that point on, he has been on my shit list [although I continue to be polite to him out of a sense of professional etiquette—a phrase with which he is assuredly not familiar.]) After I told some of my coworkers about this incident, they all laughed because Scott is universally known to be a total asshole. And I must add that I have personally seen him take special orders from the guys in terms of making their eggs a certain way, so I believe that he just doesn’t like the look of me for some reason. Perhaps he’s afraid of big boobs…

Anyway, now that we’re all up to date on the evil chef, Scott, I can tell my amusing story from this week! First of all, it should be stated that there is supposed to be a sous chef or even just a helper cook who works in the kitchen with Scott, but no one they hire will stay. They had a couple guys before I got here who all left, then when I was here they had this guy who came all the way from Israel (Micah), who was so incredibly nice and soft-spoken. He lasted about a week and then couldn’t take any more, so they let him stay here a few days while he looked for a new job somewhere else.

After him, there was a new prospect named James Jones. James lived in Seattle and needed a way to get here. Well, after getting messed around by both Scott and Dick (the Ranch Manager and my boss), and getting told that he had the job but they couldn’t find a way to get him here, he eventually got on a bus from Seattle to Salt Lake City. He kept calling our office during bus stops and yelled at everyone who answered the phone about how he was getting mistreated. My boss had a tizzy that day because once we knew he was coming, we had to figure out connecting buses (I should say *I* was the one in charge of figuring out buses vs. Amtrak, etc, and it was a nightmare on our dial-up slow-ass computers.) In the end, Dick decided to buy him a bus ticket from SLC to a town near here (on Dick’s own credit card), and then he was going to go pick him up himself in the morning. The money for the ticket would be like an advance on his paycheck.

So, the guys arrives. He grew up in the Appalachians, and boy could you tell it. He had a tiny head and a wiry body, and just looked ODD, like his daddy was also his favorite uncle, if you get my drift. Anyway, he was nice enough once he got here and apologized for yelling at all of us. He was put right to work in the kitchen, and things seemed to be going OK.

Yesterday was my first day off, so I couldn’t wait to go into town. On my way up our very bumpy road, I saw this James walking, as if he was going to walk all the way down into town, which was at least 20 miles! Naturally, I couldn’t leave him there on the side of the road, so I stopped to give him a lift. Nothing struck me as being particularly out of the ordinary, even though he did have his bag with him. I mean, hey-girls have purses, how did I know what he was going to be doing in town that might require putting things in a bag to carry back to the ranch.

So, he tells me that Scott gave him the day off after he was done with breakfast and he had decided to go into town and hang out for awhile. No big deal. As we drove into town, we talked about his job and how it was to work with Scott. He didn’t have much to say beyond that Scott was kind of a jerk, but that things were OK. Once we got into town, I asked him where he wanted to be dropped off and he pointed at the liquor store ahead. Ok…whatever. He asked me to pick him up on the way back if I happened to see him. No problem.

I go on about my business and a few hours later I’m driving back through Granby and notice him on the opposite side of the road, trying to thumb a ride OUT of Granby. Hmmm…. So, I get back to the ranch and I’m in my room not thinking anything about it when Corky comes to tell me the hilarious news that the new cook has RUN AWAY! Cleaned out his room and scarpered. The only thing they just can’t figure out is how he got to town. *sigh* So, I was forced to tell my story and admit that I was his unwitting accomplice, his getaway car, if you will. Corky must have laughed for 5 minutes straight. Everyone who came into our house that night got the full story and when the bartender, Lisa, heard it, she couldn’t wait to tell Scott once she got to work. Fantastic. The man loves me so much anyway.

So, it was with not a small amount of trepidation that I came to breakfast this morning. Sure enough, everyone had a smart-ass comment waiting for me. “So! Here’s the getaway driver!” “Didn’t the bag tip you off?” etc… At least my boss, Dick, realized that the guy was going to go one way or another, so he wasn’t mad at me. Plus, he got a promising application today from a new cook candidate. J Scott didn’t have anything to say except, “Well, it saved me the trouble of firing him.” Perhaps he doesn’t realize that the one constant in this situation is HIM. Everyone else comes and immediately goes because of HIM. What an idiot…

Anyway, it’s almost the end of my working day, so I should probably be wrapping this up if I want to finish what I need to do before I clock off. Which, admittedly, is not much. Today has been spectacularly slow, plus my boss isn’t here to give me stuff to do outside of my usual realm.

Well, I hope that everyone is doing well and that you will all write me soon. I would love to get a letter or even a postcard!!! J You know that YAY! feeling when you’re at camp and you get a letter—that’s what I’m dying for!

Take care and I’ll speak with you soon!

Thursday, July 7, 2005

Bit of an update from the ranch

Hello everyone!

Well, I’m finally getting a chance to write a bit here. I ended up having to come back early from lunch because my boss had to make a run into town; so, I decided that I would use some time now to send a note to you guys!

Anyway, it’s hard to concentrate in this office at the moment because the other girl who works here is a chatter-brained twit. She is barely over 21 and she yaks on constantly about which guy likes her now and which ex-boyfriend she wants to get back with. Plus, she’s got a fouler mouth than I do, and that’s really saying something. It actually bothers me sometimes, but at least she’s able to rein herself in in front of the guests. *sigh*

Anyway, she just stepped out for a minute, so now’s my chance to actually get some typing done! Where to start….

Well, first of all, this place is GORGEOUS. Hard as hell to get to, but still beautiful. I could look at the scenery here forever. Sitting out on the back deck of the stone longhouse I live in, I have a view of the horse corral in the distance, with mountains surrounding it and a lake in the distance. I can’t get over the beauty of the mountains…they are amazing. It has an almost dream-like feeling to it. It’s like that movie “The Village”, where they’re surrounded by forest on all sides….that’s kind of what it’s like living in this clearing in the middle of pine-covered mountains.

As far as the people go, well most of them are exceedingly nice. I live in Pioneer, which is the all-female lodge. The other women who live there are very friendly. There is one woman, nick-named Corky, who is the head of housekeeping. She is probably close to 60. She was in the Army (says she was in Vietnam) and is a very grizzly sort of woman….ridden hard and hung up wet, as they say. She’s pretty gruff, but mostly very friendly. And, because she’s the head of housekeeping, it is VERY important to be on her good side. So far, she has helped put my room together and gotten me some stuff that I need, so I think I’m on her good side for the time being. She got me some slats for my bed (I’m the only one in my house that has a real bed frame—everyone else has bunkbeds) by taking off 3 shelves from her bookshelf. That was very kind of her, except that they are too long to fit correctly in the frame, so they poke up on the side, leaving my bed lying at a slant. Oh well… J And she nailed my curtain up over my window, in lieu of using a curtain rod, but she assures me that she will “appropriate” a rod from someone else’s window soon.

At least I have my own room. That is a BIG deal. It means I get to decorate a little (with stuff left over from my cubicle at the Press Citizen which was still hanging out in the trunk of my car), which makes my room a little homier. Homely, but homey---that’s my room. Plus, I’m right across from the bathroom, which is a huge bonus. The house is long, with a narrow hallway down the center and rooms off of that. At the end of the hallway there is a large lounge with a huge fireplace, couches, refrigerator, and a satellite-enabled TV. The ladies gather there at the end of the night to bitch about guests, watch crappy TV, drink, and smoke. A huge portion of the people here smoke, which is repulsive, and I’m sure that I will return home with all of my clothes reeking of it. Ugh.

But, having the fireplace is really nice. Corky loves it, so she makes a point of having a fire in it every night. Last night my boss, Deb (who lives there with us), made some S’Mores for everyone as we were sitting around chatting. It was so cozy! Right up until the point when Deb and I tried to watch “The Daily Show” or “Sabrina” (the original movie), and Corky said that she was going to punch a hole in the TV if she had to watch either one. I truly believe she was not joking. So, we ended up watching everyone’s favorite, “The Golden Girls”. It wasn’t too bad, but sort of a waste of satellite TV, in my opinion.

As far as my job goes, it seems to be progressing well. Today I actually was allowed to answer phones and try to talk to customers about booking rooms and such. There are so so so many details to remember that I can’t believe I will ever learn them by the end of the summer. This is the annoying girl’s second summer here, so she knows all the stuff and likes to boss me around. Thanks to her I was treated to my first experience of being told by someone younger than myself to fetch her things from around the office, so naturally I am inclined to want to break her neck.

Aside from having to listen to constant Cali-speak (the annoying girl is from San Diego), my office experience here is thus far very good. The boss is highly reminiscent of Henry Phillips of Press Citizen fame, so that will probably end up being a challenge to my patience. His name is Dick, so that just figures.

Anyway, I think my free time is up, so I need to let you go and get back to the grind. I hope that everyone is doing well and I’ll write again soon!

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Summer in the Rockies

Hi everyone!

I just wanted to drop a quick line to all of you to let you know that I'm going away for the rest of the summer...yes, you guessed it--to the Rockies. Yesterday I accepted a job at a luxury dude ranch in Colorado. (Please stop laughing now.) This place is actually very swank, and I won't be wrangling horses or anything. :-) I am going to be one of 3 front desk people, so it's basically a summer office job, but in a fab location. Here is their website, should anyone be interested:

http://www.kingmountainranch.com

The main reason that I'm emailing is because I will have no cell phone service there, and very limited access to internet. So, I didn't want anyone thinking I had fallen off the face of the earth because I wasn't returning calls, etc... Apparently the nearest little town has a public library with internet, but I only get one day a week off (which will always vary), so I don't know how often I'll get to town. There is a phone in the lodge where I'll be living, but since it rings into all three staff lodging facilities and there's no way of knowing who will pick it up, I probably shouldn't bother giving it out. But, my mom has it if there's an emergency. Otherwise, I've got a trusty old calling card and free time from 8pm (Mountain time) on, so I'll definitely be making calls when possible. I'll have lots of "stuck on the ranch" nights to write people, so don't hesitate to send a letter or postcard or something. :-)

Anyway, I guess that's all for now. I hope all of you have a great summer and I'll see you in September (as the song goes...).

Ciao!

Saturday, August 16, 2003

And that's a wrap!

Hello everyone!

Well, it's all finished...AT LAST! And the good news is: I passed! I know you all probably thought that I was sweating it for nothing, but truly, it was up in the air there at moments. Two people from my class did not pass, the Scottish guy and the Norwegian guy. The Norwegian guy, Erlend, didn't really care. He's a stage director in the theatre, so he was just kind of doing this for fun, but the Scottish guy, Campbell, took it a little hard. But, he's in the middle of getting an MA in Art History back in Glasgow, so he'll be going back to that (and teaching yoga).

So, we've all gone out the past couple of nights, in celebration of finally being done. The Red Onion has probably never seen such business, and of course the waitresses were just as rude as ever. Nice to know some things will probably never change. :-)

It's so sad to think that I'll be leaving here and probably never seeing any of my classmates again. We've all exchanged emails, of course, but you know how that always goes. You want to stay in touch, and inevitably you don't. Kind of like summer camp. But, it's nice to know that I do have a truly international network of friends that I could call upon if I like. In fact, one of my good friends from the course, Dagmar, will be moving to Portland later this year! So, the next time I go to visit Adam, I can see her too! :-)

Anyway, so what's next for me? Well, I'm going to stay with Pernille for a couple weeks, where she will be throwing me a birthday party to mark my 26th year. I'm so excited! And I'm really happy to be able to see her family again, since I had such a great time with them on my last visit. And, of course, I'm also excited to finally see Denmark when it's bright and sunny, and not gray every day. :-)

So, after my birthday, I have to decide what I'm going to do. It's unfortunate, but because of the timing of the CELTA course I did, most major language schools have already completed their hiring for this school year. So, I was considering coming home, subbing in the Des Moines schools, volunteering for one of the organizations around town that give free ESL classes to immigrants, getting my own place, getting experience in order to look for an overseas job later, blah blah blah. But, after a couple days of reflection (and some harassment from my mother), I realized that I was probably only considering that plan because I am very homesick. I'm particularly homesick not just for my friends and family, but also just for the familiarity of Iowa itself, and the rhythm of life there. I keep thinking about what I will miss (the tomatoes, sweet corn, watermelon, barbeques) from this season, and how much I will miss fall (a little nip in the air, pumpkin pies, apple festivals like the one we went to last year, the leaves changing colors). And of course, Thanksgiving, and even Halloween. And of course, I miss my cat terribly-laugh if you will, but it's true. :-(

But, all that aside, if I come home now, I probably will end up kicking myself, and I know that. So, I've taken an important decision. I'm going to Italy. I don't know how long I'll stay there, but I'm going there after I'm done at Pernille's. According to my teachers at CELTA, it's fairly easy to find work on the sly in Italy, due to their charming reluctance to follow silly things like rules and laws. :-) I think I'm going to go to Rome first, where there are likely to be many language schools. My teacher said that in a place like that, you can often just show up and get work. (Plus, it's the best time of year to go: fewer tourists, not so hot, etc...) So, that's what I'm going to do. And if it doesn't work out, then I'll pick a small town on a southern coast somewhere, where it's not touristy and is likely to be cheap, and maybe I'll just be able to afford to live there until Christmas. But, if not, if it all just really sucks and I can't stand it, then I hereby give myself permission to change my ticket and come home in October, and I don't want to hear any shit about it from anybody. After all, things are allowed to not work out the way you thought they would. :-)

So, that's that... I'm feeling really exhausted right now, and I have so much to do before I can leave tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to having to pack everything up tonight, that's for sure! Anyway, I don't have Pernille's phone number and address at hand, but as soon as I do, I'll make sure to email it to you in case you have any fabulous birthday gifts to send me. ;-)

OK, time to get a move on. I hope you're all doing well, and that nobody out there is having a stroke right now, envisioning me working on the sly in some dusty Italian village. Don't worry...I won't settle anywhere that doesn't have at least *one* internet cafe and a pay phone. :-) Take care everyone, and when next I write it'll be from sunny Denmark! Ciao!